The Media BREAKDOWN! (THE MB)

Blogged By Andrew

Throughout the next hour, I will continue to live blog this episode of Survivor: Tocantins. Check for updates consistently.

Episode: “The Strongest Man Alive”

A grueling endurance competition threatens an all-time “Survivor” strength record.

Timbira returns exhausted to their camp. Coach is bitter that Erinn said Brendan was a better leader than himself. I sense a big, big ego. And we go from tension to a kumbaya. They want a pow-wow. Tyson is confused about who the leader is, but it doesn’t matter much to him. It matters a great deal to Coach. Shocker! Coach agrees to let Brendan rule the roost. Coach tells us, once again, how experienced and great he is before we’re given the intro.

Back! Jalapao montage – everyone’s dirty feet. Spencer is concerned about Taj’s health, since she’s been to Exile so many times. Taj, in reality, isn’t suffering at all. She’s going on about her scheme to put together a cross tribal alliance. Taj asks Stephen, “Do you want to be apart of the biggest upset in Survivor history?”. Stephen is quick to agree, just because it’s stupid to say no.

Tree-mail (for the first time in like, 10 seasons?). Timbira is discussing who to send to Exile if they miraculously win the Reward challenge. Speaking of the reward challenge…

The tribes are greeted by Probst. He explains the rules – each tribe will select three people (2 men, 1 woman) to hold a pole with heavy sandbags on their backs, while members of the opposite tribe get to decide when to put on the weight. Sierra, Stephen, and Spencer sit out. Jalapao puts weight on Timbira’s Brendan, and Jalapao Joe gets some weight on his pole. Each bag weighs ten pounds, and they get two bags per round.

Sandy and Sydney are splitting up who they put the weights on, as do Timbira loaders Coach and Erinn. Why isn’t Coach holding a pole? Oh, shit! JT is holding 180 pounds so far, with Brendan at 200. The record for this very challenge was 220 pounds, carried by Rupert in Pearl Islands. Brendan doesn’t beat it. Nice effort!

JT is getting the 220-treatment now. And he is steady! Hardly even wobbling. Tyson drops out, leaving it all up to Debbie for Timbira. JT tied Rupert, but drops out. Joe follows! It’s a women showdown – Taj VS. Debbie. Who will win? Always bet on black. Both ladies have 100 pounds on ‘em, but who is struggling? Debbie is cringing, Taj sweating. And the pole slides off Debbie’s back! Jalapao wins Reward! Taj celebrates, but further shows her allegiance to the other tribe by congratulating Debbie.

Jalapao sends Sierra, as planned, to Exile. Brendan explains he didn’t get to tell Sierra the plan before the challenge. But she picks Taj anyway, although Stephen is visibly ticked. Coach is equally ticked, because Timbira lost. Boo hoo. Maybe if they get a back-bone and take out the poison, they’ll win a challenge.

Back again. Timbira is livid because Jalapao gets to loot from their camp as part of the Reward. They suspect the beans will be the main target, so they need to convince Jalapao to take something else. JT and Joe approach the beans, and Debbie won’t stop hollering. Honey, shut the fuck up. If you keep yelling at them, they’ll want to take the beans even more. JT walks off with the beans over his shoulder and returns to Jalapao looking like Santa. Sandy is less enthusiastic because they didn’t take BOTH bags of beans, they only took the bigger bag in case of a tribal shuffle.

Sandy is pretty loud, obnoxious, and absolutely hilarious. But Sydney (who?) fails to see the humor in Sandy’s personality. Sandy doesn’t like Sydney back, because Sydney is a huge flirt and uses everything she’s got to stay in the game. “If I can’t outwit her with my body I’ll have to outwit her with my brains!”.

Taj gets another clue, and Sierra nothing on Exile. Taj finds out the idol is at the tree-mail at Jalapao’s camp. Taj is spilling the beans to Sierra as they pick apart branches for a fire. Sierra is really gung-ho on it working. Team Secret is in place. Back at Timbira, Debbie gets her first confessional and plans on having fun. Tyson comes out… half-naked, only covering Little Tyson with his buff. Debbie, Tyson, and Coach are laughing like retarded seals. Erinn? She hates everyone on her tribe. She tears up and admits she has trouble connecting with the rest of her tribemates.

We are back with weird African music. It’s Immunity Challenge time. Taj and Sierra rejoin their teams and gulp water furiously. In this challenge, one tribe member at a time will race through a course and grab a puzzle piece. Then the entire tribe has to rotate the puzzle pieces to form a phrase. Simple enough, but how fast will they be able to run? Joe and Coach start out. Joe retrieves his puzzle piece way ahead of Coach. JT races out, followed by Erinn. Jalapao has a one-person lead because Coach sucks. Stephen drops his piece, leading Probst to say “Grope it all!”. Okay…

Sandy is struggling to bring hers back while Sierra’s ass hangs out. Sydney can’t even untie the knots. Timbira can catch up because Brendan is super fast. And they do. Tyson has the last Timbira puzzle piece, and JT is right behind him with Jalapao’s final piece. Both tribes start to bicker about how to do the puzzles. Sandy mumbles some potential phrase but it’s probably wrong. Timbira assembles their puzzle quickly to say “Escape The Vote! Timbira Wins Immunity”. Bingo.

Back. Jalapao is pissed, but not surprised. Taj knew a challenge streak was too good to be true. Joe and Sydney are confident Sandy is leaving. But is she really? Taj sticks up for Sandy, insisting she’s stronger than Sydney. Stephen agrees but says Sydney is “good eye candy”. Oh, come on, Stephen. We all know you’re gay.

Stephen goes on and on about how Sydney’s positives – sexy. He’s like Ryan Seacrest. Can’t stop talking about hot women to cover up the obvious gayness. Sydney isn’t confident, but thinks Sandy is the leading contender to leave. At Tribal Council, Sandy says she’s begun to fit in with the game. Sandy goes on to subtlely call out Sydney – says she flirts a lot and wears the boys’ jeans. Sydney even says she has a flirtatious personality – “I even flirt with women.” Sandy is appauled or shocked.

It’s time to vote. Sydney bitterly votes for Sandy – “It’s just your time to go!”. Surprise, surprise. Sandy votes for Sydney right back. Jeff is going to tally the votes.

First Vote – Sandy

Second Vote – Sydney

Third Vote – Joe

Random, much?

Fourth Vote – Sandy

Two Sandy, One Joe, One Sydney.

Fifth Vote – Sandy

Final Vote is for Sandy. She’s out. And pissed. I’m pissed. She was strong. Entertaining. Sydney wasn’t either. Boo.

Next time on Survivor:

Tyson knows Brendan is in a secret alliance with the other tribe. Taj FLIPS her shit. “I’m SICK of this game – I’m out”.

Sandy is proud she didn’t quit and was happy to be the mother hen to her tribe. We’ll miss you, girl.