The Media BREAKDOWN! (THE MB)

Blogged By Andrew

Campy songs have a long history of making their way to the top of the charts, but why exactly? Perhaps because you can’t help but repeat phrases like “mmmbop” over and over in your head, no matter how painful it may be. In fact, I’d say all songs about love in the club or lollipops are cheesy as hell, but only ten stand out as truly the most campy. (And don’t expect any classics like “Hound Dog”; classic songs are always exempt!)

10. “My Humps” by the Black-Eyed Peas

“My hump. My hump. My lovely lady lumps.” Enough said, really. The hit song is an embarrassment to rap music, but who cares? It’s catchy and since its release has seen the main lyrics become a catch-phrase.

9. “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion

“Near, far, wherever you are…” It’s the song that made teenage girls swoon in the 90s, and the one that makes everyone suicidal today. Ever since the success of the 1997 DiCaprio & Winslet flick, the song became sort of the spokesperson for weepy love ballads.

8. “Dirrty” by Christina Aguilera

“Wanna get dirrty, it’s about time I came to start the party!” As if the title isn’t raunchy enough, the rest of the lyrics and music video made Aguilera a controversial singer in 2002. She danced around in her assless chaps and sang about sexual fetishes while occassionally mud-wrestling.

7. “Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“It’s getting hot in herre, so take off all your clothes.” What’s with these campy songs mispelling words like “here” and “dirty”? Nelly’s smash hit is still perhaps one of the most danced-to songs, and continues to make girls sweat and strip.

6. “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls

“Don’t cha wish your girl-friend was hot like me?” The Pussycat Dolls successfully tease all the men out there with ugly girl-friends with the reality that they probably can’t get such hotties. I suspect the video was made purely as a masturbation motivator.

5. “Bootylicious” by Destiny’s Child

“Is my body too bootylicious for ya, babe?” Back when Beyonce’s ego wasn’t so big, Destiny’s Child was together and rocking the charts with a song about cellulite and ass-shaking. Literally 95% of the lyrics contains the words, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly”.

4. “Wannabe” by Spice Girls

“If you wannabe my lover, you’ve got to be my friend.” The Spice Girls were perhaps the most corny (therefore popular) group in the 90s. The song is nothing but pure pop fun, although pretty cheesy at that.

3. “She Bangs” by Ricky Martin

“She bangs, she bangs!” While Khia may be the Queen of campy, Ricky Martin is certainly the King. Along with “Livin Da Vida Loca”, Martin sure knows how to make a song incredibly cheesy, but very addictive (though he owes some thanks to William Hung).

2. “MMMBop” by Hanson

I’m going to save you the pain of reading the lyrics. Maybe the worst song ever, Hanson’s “MMMBop” was a huge hit. They can impress me all they want with their cash, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the song is pure kitsch and pure crap.

1. “My Neck, My Back” by Khia

“My neck, my back…lick my *explicit* and my *explicit*” Ah, Khia. You should’ve known she’d be on top per the first picture. She’s crazy and absolutely ghetto. The song is disgusting yet strangely amusing, and how can you not admire that bootleg video? Looks like she filmed it with her camera phone. The lyrics are controversial, dirty, raunchy, and awesomely campy. If you haven’t heard it yet, make sure you don’t get yourself an edited version.

So, now that we’ve picked apart the dirrtiest songs herre on Earth, why don’t you tell us which ones you guiltily enjoy?